Dear Galway Player

After months of searching for a job in Ireland my boyfriend feels he has no option but to move to Australia where his friends can get him work on good money. We are together almost two years and while we both want to stay together I don’t believe that most relationships can survive that great a distance. Should we try to work at it or just break up now.

Mariah in Claregalway

Let me paint you a picture babes: it’s a wet summers evening in Galway, you come home from work moaning about the annoying customers or the absolute bitch you work with. He’s spent a full seven minutes looking up jobs online and the rest of the day watching daytime tv and creeping on Facebook. You grab the remote and turn on Home and Away, he’s drawn in by these tanned beauties glowing in the Australian sun, slowly he turns his attention to the pale pyjamaed moaning mess beside him and declares that you need to talk.

It’s hard to blame any young person without ties for abandoning this sinking ship that we call home. While Julius Caesar famously declared “I came, I saw, I conquered” the young Irish abroad motto would be closer to “I came, I drank, I puked”. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity to try new things, that you can then bore your friends to tears with exaggerated accounts of, for the rest of your life. The chances of him staying faithful while he’s abroad are as slim as no woman complaining about their feet on Ladies Day. It’s a country full of hot, fun, tanned women, tanned from the sun, not a bottle, honestly.

For any relationship to succeed, long or short distance, trust is paramount. Your best chance to keep this guy is to be practical and upfront before he jets off. People have certain needs and wants that satisfied make us happier creatures, that’s a scientific fact. What I suggest is that one night stands are the secret to success, meaningless, unemotional casual hook ups will save you relationship and infact probably improve things in the bedroom between you no end.

If you want your problems answered e-mail galwayplayer@gmail.com and don’t forget to check me out on 2fm with Chris and Ciara every Thursday night at 10:30pm and to follow me @GalwayPlayer

Don’t hate the Galway Player…… Hate the Galway Game

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