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Christmas Crackers

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Christmas Crackers

Is it just me or does everything last for ages nowadays, with the obvious exception of people’s attention spans. I’m no Grinch but Christmas has been more drawn out than the announcement of the Dancing with the Stars Ireland participants. Christmas is lasting so long at the moment that poor old St Nick has less holidays that’s Irish teachers.

 

Christmas has changed; a lot like dating if you think about it. Back in the day it was a simpler time, we didn’t over think everything and made the most of what we had. The digital era leaves nothing to the imagination, the first week in December the only trees that should be in your living room are on I’m a Celebrity. Now on Instagram when I’m trying to decide fake or real it’s Christmas tree’s not…. Instagram followers.

 

It kicks off with Black Friday which is a lot like Tinder, going for things that you don’t really need or have any interest in, just because you can. Let’s buy that new hoover that plays Westlife’s greatest hit’s when it’s full just because there’s a fiver off it is a lot like texting Sinead in Waterford. You have great intentions at the start but it’s not practical and it fades faster than a Pennys top after one wash.

 

Choice is the problem really, back when we lived our boring not best lives, everyone had the same decorations criss – corssed across the room and nobody cared. Now people are spending longer taking the perfect photo of their tree than took them to decorate the bloody thing. They are getting hashtag “inspo” pics from some blogger who probably rocked up to the nearest 5 star hotel and made out it was her own living room. Thanks to social media and online shopping the possibilities are endless so we are constantly on the look out for the newest and best, just like dating. Imagine being from the West of Ireland 30 years ago, you could probably draw the family tree of every eligible singleton within a 10 mile radius. Now thanks to the power of dating apps I can get rejected by girls all over the world from the comfort of their own living rooms.

 

We are image obsessed, it’s all about perception. A relationship can be over before it even begins due to over thinking. You match a person, you pour over and analyse their social media platforms, you try to preform psychological analysis on texting style, you go CSI Knocknacarra all over their Instagram. Before mobiles it was

 

Landline

Him: You free next Saturday

Her Yeah

Him: Ok see you at 9 outside Moons

 

And then you got on with your lives, imagine that. Imagine not having to whip the girls Whats App Group into a frenzy over the fact that he was online an hour ago but didn’t go into your message. But they managed it, most of us were created without Tinder or Bumble, without POF of Two’s Company, so what I’m trying to say, in my own roundabout way, is CAN WE PLEASE LEAVE THE CHRISTMAS MUSIC AND DECORATIONS UNTIL BLOODY CHRISTMAS

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Feeling Jaded

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Feeling Jaded

The poor old English get blamed for a lot of things in this country, most unfairly but some is justified. The Irish were a randy bunch back in the day until Queen Elizabeth and the gang stopped all the fun.

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