As a connoisseur of the female form I was very upset and slightly nauseous to look at the Hairy Legs Club Tumblir page. This tiny group have decided to flaunt hundred years of social norms and advances in women’s rights to protest against what they claim are “artificial gender norms”. Here’s another social norm, wiping your arse, I wonder are they going to protest against that too? It’s disgusting to think of these Neanderthal women encouraging ladies to follow this stand against attractiveness. Personal grooming is almost as much for yourself ladies as it is for pleasing your man. Most women feel at their sexiest when they are waxed, manicured tanned and pampered. There is no need to punish yourself and forgo any chance of ever meeting any guy by ignoring convention. Women have been grooming themselves for hundreds of years. If it was good enough for your mother and her mother before her, it’s certainly good enough for you! Think of all the jobs that would be lost if this kind of behaviour somehow became acceptable.

Beauticians make up artists, the hot girls in Boots AND Brown Thomas! What kind of world would this be if women were going around farting and burping drinking pints and being ladish. Women are supposed to be pretty, smell nice and have smooth skin; guys should be manly the only time its acceptable for a man to have long hair is if he plays in the Italian League.

Don’t get me wrong male grooming is important also, I’ve been called a metrosexual on more that one occasion and of course I’ve waxed my chest and keep downstairs trim, not just to be nice to the visitors to my nether regions but also the fact that trimming the undergrowth has some optical advantages too, not that that’s an issue for me I assure you. Even through history men have been taking care down there, Michelangelo’s David has styled his short and curlies. Its fine for men to have hairy armpits too due to evolution the hair is to protect the pits getting raw whilst undertaking manual labour; hence the reason women really don’t need hairy armpits.

A man after my own heart was John Ruskin the famous Victorian author artist and critic. The first time he saw a naked woman was on his wedding night (imagine living in a time before internet porn) Mr Ruskin was so disgusted at the sight of his hairy other half that he immediately applied for and received an annulment. Having seen more than my fair share of naked ladies one of my funniest experiences was with a beautiful but rather dim young lady. I told her that if she ever wanted a repeat encounter she needed to trim the bush, I suggested a landing strip. Not too long after that I got a text to say the job was done and to call over, I duly obliged but was greeted by an astonishing site, this genius had shaved a line down the centre leaving the sides still long and the middle bare, an inverted Brazilian if you will.

Is this page going to bring down society one hairy hoof at a time? I certainly hope not. We must ensure that these women dont get any support from their impressionable sisters and that they see sense before thier hairy womanhood cobwebs over.