Welcome to the wonderful world of the Galway Player, Ireland’s top dating male expert. I’m here to tell it like it is, because as we all know women love an honest man. I’ll share my expertise and impart my wisdom, using my observations and experience to educate and empower the males of society. Read on so I can enlighten you about the ugly truth of dating so you don’t end up doing ugly birds
“You’re nobody until somebody loves you” according to X Factor winner James Authur, which is ironic because that’s exactly what he’ll be very soon. Sadly many single people fell that this is true, particularly this week leading up to what restaurants, florists and newsagents tell us it the most romantic day of them all. Valentines Day is a day dreaded by many single people, like turkeys at Christmas they can’t wait to see the back of it.
The great philosopher Capt Jack Sparrow once said, “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude to the problem.” I genuinely love Valentines Day it’s an even better opportunity than Christmas to manipulate the spirit of the event, it’s a holiday specifically about getting laid. Any glimpse of potential romance will stoke the faintest embers of passion in a lady, igniting an out of control bush fire at this time of year. All over the country there are single girls working away listening to the radio adverts inflating this importance of this celebration of love, every second song is some tortured soul pouring out his head to his beloved, while single Sally has nothing to look forward to this weekend except daydreaming about the Irish Rugby players while munching on rice cakes and celery sticks.
This weekend is going to be phenomenal for pulling; the same lines will work on EVERY single girl. The bars and clubs of the land will literally be dripping with enthusiastic singletons. After a full week of listening to all that Valentines nonsense any half decent single lad will be in more demand that Gareth Brooks tickets. Simple mind games will work a treat, reverse psychology about the benefits of single life will melt her into a quivering wreck, she’ll be in your bed quicker than you can say “I promise I’ll call you”.
Obviously for many the day evokes painful memories of failed romances or bemoaning unrequited emotions. It feels like everyone except you is in some kind of Hollywood Romcom type relationship. You start to question every aspect of yourself, are you that unlovelable?? It can be tough, but you need to be realistic, some of the ugliest, stupidest, most annoying people that I’ve ever had the misfortune of encountering are actually in relationships, so relax.
Please don’t get too worked up about this Valentines Day, just go out and have some fun, who knows you could meet the love of your life or even better, me, the love of one night.
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